I love this tune, Scottish hip hop:

Since its creation the rowie has been steeped in controversey. Even its very name is subject to fierce debate. Some say that it should be called a morning or aberdeen roll, others maintain that it should infact be called a buttery, if only a decision could be made that satisfied all parties the senseless killings could stop.

For the unenlightened a rowie is the croissant of north-east Scotland, its high lard content ensures the fine fowk o’ the north-east can hibernate right throughout the winter months. Its salt content has also been the centre of red hot debate throughout the land. ‘Akabusigate’ will live long in the collective memory of mankind, as Kriss Akabusi likened the golden discs to ‘Salty Cakes’. His family immediately distanced themselves from him and it comes as no suprise that he has not been picked for his country or Question of Sport since.

In recent years we have seen the invention of the curried rowie and the rowie pizza, which have failed to ignite the populations imagination.

Rowie Facts

• Christopher Columbus found the rowie in 1786, exactly 7 days after Charles Mungus had invented it
• Rowies are made from partially collapsed stars and lard
• Rowies promote a sense of well being and self-importance in the well at heel
• Barbara Windsor once ate 48 rowies in one sitting which easliy broke Chuck Norris’ previous record of 31
• Rowies can make fools of us all and wait for no man

Tell us your favourite way to have a rowie